The “roaring” 2020’s is the decade of normalized mental illness, en masse and in our very bedrooms.There are things we are expected to do and believe that in another context would be considered psychiatric symptoms.
My personal complex involves the grocery store. I drive there, park, and enter the store, I am greeted by a display of american flags for independence day. Behind it is a cardboard cutout of a local hero from a sport that is played in my town. Every person in my town is old and most of them are white. I am white too, but I voted for a female Republican in our last election, so they most likely want nothing to do with me.
The food I get at the grocery store is what I like to call “scam food” or “miracle food”. It is the idea that an entire meal can be packaged in a shelf stable manner, and sold for four to ten dollars. (Months ago it would have been four to eight). Some of my scam food miracle favorites are: can of beans, can of meat and beans, plastic cup of noodles, frozen bread and cheese, frozen bread and three cheeses, frozen bread and five cheeses, and deep dish frozen bread.
I eat like this because it is easier to do nothing that requires effort. I suffer from depression on occasion, and so I know well how good it feels to give up on effort. If I had this symptom however, of not wanting to put in effort, my doctor would agree with me. “Sure you don’t want to do anything… its simpler not to! Now Im not going to give you any pills, you just want them because you've seen the commercials!” he would say! This is how sick our culture is! To be sick to to be normal! To be normal is to be healthy! If we are all sick then we are all Healthy! God Bless America! Dr.’s want all the pills to themselves!
I listen to Fortunante Son by Creedence Clearwater Revival while driving home and sing along. I pretend I’m one of the old men who creeps around my sagging old town, driving an antique car I bought with my retirement money. I think about the government worked together years ago to take the lead out of gasoline, and how geezers who are still alive this far really got the short end of the stick. I pull a left at the red light. My car is from the 1990s.
When I get home I put away the groceries. I look at the expiration dates of the things I put away. I heard from my mom that Our Glorious Leader was taking away food safety protections soon. I wonder what I will be doing when my meat with beans expires in 2028. I wonder how long I have until its not a good idea to go to the grocery store anymore.
-Jumbo
P.S.If you are reading this blog post years in the future, just know that this very post is the origin of my famous quote, “In the panopticon, all sex is public sex.” John Waters must be turning over in Baltimore because there is a new king of sexual quotes, and he is I! Anyhoo, bye guys!
I forget the larger context now, but once on a forum I read a mans story of being poised to penetrate another man, but as soon as his tip touched hole, the man ejaculated instantly. This scenario appeals to me in several ways.
First, I wish I had this guys problem, referring to the ejaculator. I wish I could cum instantly, although in this guys defense, I would also wish to have some larger degree of control over this ability. I suppose me and him are not so different, both of us are dissatisfied with the time we need to reach orgasm, just on opposite ends of the spectrum.
As for the “top” in this situation, I love to imagine what must be in his head. I love thinking about intense pleasure im sure woman and cis men experience while penetrating a hole of any type. I am also obsessed with the anticipation of this enveloping pleasure, the tension inherent in initial penetration, the possibility of a false start, before finally, the warm embrace. I cannot even imagine the forum users frustration, when he realized his aching cock would not even get a chance to experience this holy pleasure. Or maybe he let himself slide home, before having to rip away, out from the overstimuated man below him. This fantasy only proves to me again how much denial is a central pillar in my “sexual parthenon”
Everyone has a sexual parthenon, and filling it out is a good exercise for those looking to get more in touch with their sexuality. Each of the eight Pillars of the Parthenon represent something that gets you going, but in the most general sense. For example you never want to include specific fetishes in the sexual parthenon, rather you should include the things about the fetish that makes it appealing, or the through line that links multiple fetishes together. You want to dig to the root impulse that is why something turns you on, not what turns you on.
Once you have decided on your eight Pillars of the sexual parthenon you should draw eight circles, which correspond to the amount that you are influenced by each of the Pillars. Obviously the things you chose are the things that turn you on the most, but even so some do so more than others. The final step is to share your Sexual Parthenon on social media, using the hashtag #sexualparthenon. I hope y'all have a good time introspecting and are able to come to some exciting conclusions.
-Jumbo